Getting
your lover to use sex toys.
Both men and women want to be seduced and teased to
the point that it is almost torturous. Sex toys can be the key to
making this happen. Yet, because sexuality is so often misunderstood
today there are a lot of people who are afraid that they cannot
explain this to their partners in the right way.
So, regardless of your gender or your sexuality, if you want to
introduce sex
toys into your relationship, how should you go about doing so?
Before springing this upon your partner, there are some initial
preparations that you should make. Stop and consider why it is that
you want to use sex toys . . .
Is it because you think they feel good or that they will provide
a better orgasmic experience?
Do you think that they might be a fun way to spice up your relationship?
Or is there yet another reason why you want to introduce toys into
your sexual relationship?
After you have answered these questions for yourself, take some
private time to go online . . . Yes! Go onto the Internet and write
down a few good addresses for sexual health and information.
You should also find a good online store and decide what kind of
toy you might want to suggest trying ( I
highly recommend TrustedToys.com for all your sex toy needs!).
Now, put all of this information in a safe place until you find
a nice, relaxed time to have a private, intimate discussion about
this subject with your partner.
You may want to begin this conversation by mentioning how much
you truly enjoy being with your partner and then tell him or her
how you feel that it's now time to take your relationship to the
next level. Explain to them how you want to have a much more intimate
sexual relationship and that you believe that using sex toys will
help you have just that.
You may also want to reassure your partner that this is a perfectly
natural and healthy way to explore sexual pleasure. Allow your partner
to voice his or her concerns. Some of these concerns may stem from
the common myths that surround the use of sex toys. You need to
be prepared to address these concerns . . .
Things that your partner might say to you include:
"If you want to use sex toys then you must think/feel that
I must be sexually inadequate."
You will have to use a little T.L.C. (tender loving care) to get
your partner past this thought. Take some time out to stroke their
ego and share your real reasons for wanting to use sex toys. Remind
them that it is normal to masturbate and yet there are still a lot
of things that sex toys are unable to do that you really enjoy having
your partner do for you.
"You might become addicted to using sex toys and then you
won't be able to reach an orgasm without them."
Of course this is possible, after all, you can become addicted
to any form of
stimulation. However, like all addictions, it is also possible to
break this habit or head it off before it even begins. The key here
is to keep your sex life fresh by experimenting with new positions,
toys and activities.
"Using a vibrator might damage my vagina."
Actually this is not true. In fact, studies have shown that using
a vibrator can be beneficial to women who are undergoing menopause
or having a difficult time reaching an orgasm.
"We're normal people . . . We shouldn't be using sex toys."
Nothing could be further from the truth! Whenever you look at a
survey, you will notice that it is mainly normal people (i.e. doctors,
lawyers, housewives, teachers) who use sex toys.
"Sex toys are only used for masturbating with."
Of course this is their common usage, but they're also great for
foreplay. A lot of couples also enjoy using toys in order to reaffirm
and deepen their relationships.
In the end, remember that whether you're buying, or considering
buying, a sex toy it's a good idea to consider the feelings of your
partner. Not only is this respectful but it is also necessary since
you don't want your partner to think that they are no longer sexually
satisfying your needs.
After all, your relationship is a partnership and thus both of
you must reach a
decision that is right for the two of you. If you and your partner
should happen to conclude that using sex toys is not right, you
can still use them whenever you're alone.
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